There is a pair of legs out of proportion with hypertension. White knee-high stockings wrapped the lower half of the legs. At the tip of the toe, there are small openings with blue rings; the right big toe is picking out a bit. It looks very tight below the knees, making the bloated thighs pop even more. Some tiny red spots appear on the skin. A green hospital dress with white lines is raised to show the legs. The solid ochre background supports the legs instead of white hospital bed sheets. There is writing on the left upper corner. It says, “My full of liquid legs.”
I’ve given a lot of infusions during the hospital stay. I felt like I got any fluid they could hands-on, from hydrating IV to Blood. I gained water weight so much so fast. Nurses were amazed at how much my body shape changed in a short period. We laugh at the weirdness of the body’s function. Doctors were a bit more worried than humorous nurses, and I that concerned about my bloated body.
They started putting on compression stockings and giving me massages to speed up the draining of all the water. One day I had to take the stockings off and couldn’t put them back on. So I got shorter stockings only covering my calves. So my calves were getting smaller faster than my thighs.
The first time I took a shower in my hospital room, I looked at the mirror and saw my body for the first time in a long time. It seemed very strange. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It was very nice to take a shower finally, but the most memorable thing from the experience wasn’t the freshness I got. It was the weirdness of my body. I told my husband, and we laughed so much.
On another sleepless night, I woke up middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. I’ve been dealing with my temperature going all over the place. When I tried to go to sleep, I was so cold. I had several layers of blankets. But I got too hot in the middle of the night. So I took all the blankets off of me. Then I saw my legs with white stockings looking unbalanced with my bloated thighs.
I decided to draw them for fun but also recording purposes. I used to make many self-portraits when I was younger, and I don’t know why but I stopped at some point. Even though my legs weren’t my face, it was a strangely nice feeling to draw a part of myself. I enjoyed focusing on myself solely. Also, drawing helped me tremendously during tedious hours in the hospital, especially at night.
I regret that I didn’t make more drawings about my status throughout the stay. But I know I wasn’t in the spot I could manage that. So now, I’m trying to record my progress primarily in my journal and visually. Hopefully, I can share my positive journey with my drawings more in the future.