Last week, I had to visit ER and got admitted to the hospital. I thought it’d be a quick visit, but with cancer, doctors don’t look at any symptoms lightly.

Whenever I’m stuck in the hospital bed, I think about our dog, Dingo. He is not good at being by himself. And according to my husband, whenever I’m gone, he looks for me when he goes out to potty and is very needy at home. This time wasn’t different. Dingo’s face popped into my head when my doctor said he wanted to keep an eye on me overnight. I sent my husband home soon after.

Even though I’m the one our dog always follows around, he loves to snuggle with my husband. When we get in bed, Dingo settles next to him. They make perfect positions for each other. Looking at these two love birds makes me smile. In the hospital bed at night, I imagined them on the bed without me. My husband once told me that even though there is more space, they still sleep on one end, leaving my space empty. And it makes him feel weird. Thinking about it made my heart ache.

If I were away for a different reason, maybe traveling, this would be a cute scene to imagine. But many things in my life became very sentimental after I got cancer. And it’s pretty tiring. I need to find a brighter lens to look at my life because beautiful things are not there if you don’t look for them. So, I want to picture them on the bed without me with a smile to know I have a home to return to and the loves of my life are waiting for me.

Fortunately, my condition wasn’t a big problem, and I could get home the next day. My dog greeted me with a thrill, and I was elated to be home.